i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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