Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
