woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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