dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
