Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
