i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
