I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
