We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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