I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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