I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
