it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
