I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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