A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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