Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
