Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
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