i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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