all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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