how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked