If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
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You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
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I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick