I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.