she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
