How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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