Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
