How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
