Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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