Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
