i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
