Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
