yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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