i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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