I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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