I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
