There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
