And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Randomize