is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
