he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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