So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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