What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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