I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
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just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
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the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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