now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
