Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
