And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
