Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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