she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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