4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
