All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
