Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
