i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
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he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
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Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize