yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
