i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
