I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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