I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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