I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
