he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
