White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize