Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
