does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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