2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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