There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
