Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i don't like sucking hair
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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