can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
