is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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