i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
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But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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