We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
