you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
