we made out on top of his cat.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
