just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
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ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
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How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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