I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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